Just put headphones on!

No one needs to hear your phone conversations or what you are watching on YouTube

Do you remember the tagline of this Substack? “The pretend column where I sometimes allow myself to be controversial”?

Well, I am pretty sure you have been wondering where the controversial post has been so far. Obviously, for some of you my terrible failure at teaching my kids life skills such as doing the laundry is in itself already more than enough controversy.

But for the ones who have been waiting for the opinionated piece that says it as it is, without guilt (well, trying), hold on to your knickers my dear friend, because we are about to discuss something that has the ability to destroy my patience in seconds and for which I have next to no tolerance… public noise pollution! 

Let’s discuss, shall we? But firstly, let’s define what I mean by public noise pollution. I am not talking about road traffic, plane overhead or building sites but the following:  

Your loud mindless TikTok scrolling in the Doctor’ surgery.

Your kid’s game pinging over and over right next to my dinner table.

No, I don’t want to hear what you and your cousin think about your next door neighbor or your step dad, on speaker phone, while on the train.

I really don’t think it is cute to be put through an episode of Peppa Pig with your kid when I am waiting in line at the Post Office.

Oh, and the voice of that awful YouTuber you are listening to really does my head in.

When you happen to be sharing a pocket of time and place with others, do you really think they need to be submitted to it all without consent? No my friend, it is rude.

Listen, it happens to all of us, we do get bored waiting at times but don’t tell me that you can’t wait to board a train or be next at the cashier without watching yet another DIY video or your favorite Netflix show?

And if for some reason it is impossible, then wear the bloody headphones! Or try something else, silence your phone and read the captions because guess what, most shows or social media videos have them now.

And you can totally play Candy Crush (does anyone, other than me, still play it?) without the awful repetitive music in the background. Try it, I do it all the time and it really doesn’t change a thing other than leaving the people surrounding you in peace, I promise!

I could put my own AirPods on, turn on noise cancelling, and pretend you are not here, but why should I be the one locking myself out of the outside world so that you could pretend that you OWN the world?

At the end of the day, I guess it comes down to consideration. Not everyone needs to know or hear your phone conversations, or your kid’s games, and not everyone likes your music tastes either (next door neighbor, this one’s for you!) so please turn the volume down. 

We all have to cohabitate and we all have a choice: be the considerate guy or be the jerk. That’s really all there is to it…